


Priorities

by CinnaStarks



Series: Inquisitor Izuna [5]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: 5 Times, Drabble, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-10
Updated: 2015-02-10
Packaged: 2018-03-11 10:36:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3324407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnaStarks/pseuds/CinnaStarks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen gives meaning to something Inquisitor Lavellan thought she knew so well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Priorities

Romance is not a foreign concept to Izuna Lavellan, not after living all twenty five years of her life in close quarters with both men and women. She knows what it feels like for someone’s lips to meet hers. She knows of the fire it brings to her soul, but also of the emptiness that replaces that blaze after the kisses stop. It does not bother her. It should not, at least, with her role as First being more important than a silly flight of fancy.

But then the Conclave is destroyed and, with it, every priority Izuna once had. She is no longer the First of Clan Lavellan, she is the Herald of Andraste. The people that flit about her like drunken hummingbirds are not just elves, they are shemlens and dwarves. They are mages and Templars, loyalists and heretics. They are not what she is used to and yet, she is their last hope. Just thinking about it makes her vision go red with fear born out of frustration.

Seeing a former Templar, a man who was once a part of an organization that she should condemn for their actions against mages, helps clear that haze better than Izuna is willing to admit. Sometimes, she watches him spar with his troops. Sometimes, he notices and she swears she can see his cheeks redden as soon as their eyes meet. Beyond that, though, Commander Cullen is the leader Keeper Deshanna wants her to be when the time comes. Despite his past loyalties, the only time Izuna ever sees him favor the Templars is when he suggests that she go to them for help instead of the mages. Otherwise, he is fair. He is just.

When she is forced to limp through a snow storm after witnessing so many people die, regret is the only thing that slows her down. Cullen was more than just a good leader, he was a friend. He was one of the few people at Haven who saw beyond her title and Izuna had thought it wasn’t important enough to say so. The image of his frozen body passes through her mind, lighting a fire of self-hatred that burns until she hears his voice again.

Izuna refuses to make that mistake again.

“I am relieved that you-“ She falters at her own courage. “-that so many made it out.”

“As am I.”

Something inside of her breaks. Shaking legs attempt to carry her elsewhere.

“I will not allow the events at Haven to happen again. You have my word.”

It shatters. She leaves.

Crestwood gives them both time. While Izuna uses fighting as a way to get rid of the mental aftershocks Haven left her with, Skyhold gains some semblance of normalcy. He has an office, now. It’s dark with barely enough light to read and write in, but it’s warm. It’s comfortable.

And yet, the first time she talks to him under its roof, they are outside within moments of Izuna opening her mouth to speak. “Cullen, I care for you and-“ Everything becomes a blur as soon as the words escape her lips.

It focuses again when they’re touched. When he pulls her in and refuses to let go, it’s as if she has been blind until that very moment. There is more than the fire that has filled her chest with every kiss prior, there is  _meaning_. This kiss is not just desire, it is relief. It is the realization that what Izuna feels is valid and mutual and, priorities be damned, she doesn’t want it to end.

In the months that follow, not a single kiss is without meaning.

The one they share as soon as they can find a moment to themselves after Adamant is one of reassurance. It confirms that she isn’t still stuck in another twisted section of the Fade and that Cullen is not just dreaming of her survival. Despite the dried remnants of slain demons and Grey Wardens that pepper their lips, the kiss is real and that is all that matters.

Izuna’s soft touch after Cullen almost breaks down completely is a reminder of how much she cares. It is as delicate as the rising sunlight, but the message is clear. He is stronger than what plagues him and, in the moments that he is not, she will be there to protect him.

It feels every sort of wrong to kiss him in such a holy space and yet, she has a feeling that Andraste would forgive them. Their embrace is not one of lust, it is one of desperation. It is anger and frustration. Salt stings their eyes and tongues at the inconvenient truth that Izuna might not come back to Skyhold after her final fight with Corypheus. She cannot leave him. She will not leave him.

She does not. This one is also tainted with salt, but for the right reasons. Tears of something more than joy, more than happiness, flow freely down her cheeks. Images of what could be pass through the forefront of her mind. Izuna has a home in his arms, a future she can see, and priorities that will not get in the way of something she once thought was just a flight of fancy.

There is hope.


End file.
